Dear Friends,
When we master self-love, our lives changes immensely. We are able to find inner peace and happiness that is not dependent on others. Not only do we
feel differently about ourselves, but how we relate to others is greatly improved.
How Self-love Improves Relationships
Once you master self-love, which I will admit is not easy, it changes how you feel about yourself and how you interact with others. Your relationships
improve because once you learn to love and accept yourself, it is so much easier to love and accept others as they are.
You stop being dependent on others for love and your happiness. You realize that when you are okay with you, you are okay no matter what others think or
say, thus eliminating any dependency. While loving yourself is not for sissies, it is possible to master it by being conscious of your intentions, thoughts and actions all the time instead of living
on auto pilot.
So what changes in our relationships when we love ourselves?
Communication improves because we have the courage to speak openly and say how we feel whether others agree with us or not, without fear of rejection or
criticism. Not only do we understand we always have a right to say how we feel, we realize it is better to ask others how they feel rather than assuming or telling them.
When we love ourselves, we are clear about our goals. This makes it easier to share and get others to agree. This brings transparency to relationships
and saves others from having to be mind-readers, guessing or making decisions for us, which we may not like.
Our relationships improve because we no longer hold onto anger and other negative feelings as we are able to express them and forgive ourselves and
other. We have learnt from our experience that releasing pent up feelings can improve our health and decrease tension in the home.
We learn not to vent our anger when we are upset but to wait until we cool off so we will have had time to think things through and say it in a calm
voice because when we speak when we are very emotional, people tend to discount what we say.
Loving yourself teaches you to agree to disagree rather than trying to convince others you are right or know better. This way each person’s views are
respected and everyone can walk away without losing face which helps relationships because no one likes someone who always has a need to be right or thinks they have all the answers.
When we love ourselves we are in touch with our feelings and become more sensitive to how people treat us. Because of this increased sensitivity, we
understand the impact our words and actions have on others and no longer wish to behave in a manner that might be hurtful to others such as being critical, controlling, dishonest, jealous,
judgmental, manipulative, angry and abusive.
Unfortunately, under the guise of love, people do many things that are anything but loving. Loving people stop giving themselves permission to demean or
hurt others because they want to relieve our anger without consideration of the impact it has on others. They stop telling themselves they do this out of love or for the persons own good, because
they know it only serves their own needs.
To understand the full impact of your words and actions, remember a time when someone yelled at you, insulted or criticized you and how that made you
feel. Then you will know how your actions affect others. Even if you believe your anger or negative comments are justified, it does not change the impact your words have on others.
Loving people know how they like to be loved and are able to tell others. Since everybody likes to loved differently, they ask partners, friends and
family how they want to be loved rather than doing what they prefer or think is what the other person wants.
We all desire to be loved and accepted regardless of our age or sex. So tell those close to you that you love and appreciate them frequently, give them
compliments on how they look or a job well done. This only takes a minute but can make the world of difference.
People, who love themselves, choose with whom and how they spend their time. Spending quality time with the people you love rather than allowing
responsibilities to take priority will improve your relationships. Set aside time each week to talk to one another about how you feel, to resolve any issues that may have come up or anything else
that is important. This will allow everyone to feel heard and remain close.
Self–love makes us aware of our fears and negative beliefs, allowing us to keep them in check, preventing them from affecting our relationships. It
helps us approach new relationships and situations with courage rather than believing nothing will ever change. When we take responsibility for the part we played in our relationship failures instead
of blaming others, it allows us to relate differently with others.
Accepting people as they are rather than trying to change them to suit your needs or ideas of how they should be, will definitely improve your
relationships as we all crave love and acceptance. Failure to accept others gives them the message they are unacceptable as they are. If they are unacceptable to you, better to find other people to
be with rather than hurting them.
We all come to relationships loaded with expectations about how others should treat us, love us, share our beliefs and interests, and be the embodiment
of our fantasy lover. Loving people are able to discuss their expectations and ask others if they are willing or able to fulfill them.
Self-love encourages honesty, including your intentions, as it allows you to be in integrity with yourself. Pretending to be nice to someone when those
are not your true feelings, is being dishonest with yourself as well as deceitful. Keeping promises and agreements promotes trust. Sharing something dear from your heart, often invites others to do
the same and it takes your relationship to a new level of intimacy.
People, who are in agreement with where money is spent, who should handle the finances, and who should make decisions about money get along much better
as this reduces conflict. Those willing to share household tasks and divide the load decreases stress and improves day to day living.
Self-love gives you the courage to leave relationships that are abusive or unfulfilling, especially with people who cheat, lie, steal and use you. By
leaving such relationships, you are not only liberating yourself but providing an opportunity for them to understand and change their behavior.
When you love and respect yourself, you want respect from others. To achieve this, you must set boundaries and follow through with any consequences you
chose. This teaches others how to be respectful of others and will improve your relationships.
If you have difficulty to having good relationships, please feel free to contact me. I am available for personal, telephone or readings over Skype,
relationship coaching at any time by clicking on www.sharoncheney.com or calling me at 505
474-6363 or 514 312-2451.
If you would like to share this newsletter with friends, click on this link http://www.sharoncheney.com/knowledge-newsletter-archives/october-2018-how self-love-improves-our-relationships
My latest book Love is the Answer is now on sale at Amazon. To purchase the book, click on: http://geni.us/loveistheanswer.
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