May 2010 Knowledge Newsletter
Spring is finally here and this is a perfect time not only for spring cleaning but life cleaning as well. Many of us hang onto old beliefs, memories, and belongings long after they have served us. People often say “You can’t take it with you when you die” so why not lighten up your load right now? Look through your life and belongings and see what you can let go of today.
The Influence of Childhood Experiences
This past week I spontaneously received information from my guidance about details of my childhood abuse. This didn’t come as shock as I had been aware of the abuse for many years. I asked why I was receiving this information now as I am content in my life and certainly not suffering from any abuse. I was told that in order to be whole and to evolve to a higher level of consciousness, I needed to know all the facts in order to understand how my past has influenced my actions and beliefs both then and now.
As I travelled down memory lane, I realized how much my childhood experiences have colored all my adult relationships, my beliefs of how people perceive me and my modus operandi in the world. This self examination made me realize that the beliefs I hold about myself and how others perceive me were not only untrue but were preventing me from moving forward and receiving love.
For example, I believed neither of my parents loved or cared about me. This belief had two results. On one hand, it gave me the freedom to do what I want without needing to seek the approval of others because I believed that no one cared what I did. On the other hand, I extended this belief to all people in my life. My rational mind knows this belief to be untrue as I have many caring friends around me. So I had to ask myself “How was this belief serving me?” I realized it helped me keep myself emotionally separate and see myself as being different from others so as not to have to deal with my trust issues. The more I looked at my perceptions, the more I realized the many behaviors a belief can led to. I discovered that looking at your life through adult eyes is like putting together a puzzle together but this time a different pattern emerges.
So I invite you to take a trip down memory lane to discover if the beliefs you developed in childhood are holding you back or helping you evolve. I thought I would provide some questions that you can ask yourselves so you can become more aware of how your experiences have influenced your lives. Not all your experiences need be unpleasant. Good memories leave their influence just as negative ones do. In examining your experiences, the objective is not to blame anyone or be unforgiving as that would not serve you or them. It is also unwise to put people on pedestals as there is only one way off a pedestal and that is down.
Some people can recall their abuse experiences easily while others often have no recall at all. Loss of memory occurs because people often have out of our body experiences when the pain is too much for the consciousness mind to handle. If you have no recall, don’t fret. Everything that ever happened to you is recorded in your subconscious mind and can be retrieved through meditation, regression, counseling and other methods.
So the first question to ask yourself is “Are you aware of any abuse in your life?” If you can remember the abuse and who abused you, you may want to ask yourself how you feel about that person today. Have you ever noticed if you project the same feelings you hold towards your abusers onto others you meet in your life, especially if they remind you of them? This may happen when we are unaware of the effects of abuse. Have your feelings towards your abusers changed? They will if you do forgiveness work.
If you are unaware or can’t remember any abuse, ask yourself if you have any of these feelings as they are often the aftermath of abuse experiences. Are you walking around feeling the same fear, anger or shame as you did as a child? Do you still feel like a victim today even if your abusers have died or are no longer in your life? Do you feel rejected, belittled, that no one cares about you, that you are never acknowledged or appreciated for anything you do? Do you feel blamed for things that are not your fault or responsibility? Do you feel worthless and a failure even if you have achieved worldly success in your life?
Were you told you were no good, stupid, would never mount to anything or felt that you could never live up to your parent’s expectations? Do you feel safe, able to speak your truth and stand up for yourself? Are you able to maintain your emotional and physical boundaries or do you let people walk all over you? Are you afraid of emotional intimacy even if you are comfortable with sexual intimacy? Are you able to trust another person completely?
Many of these feelings are experienced by people who have been abused in some form, be in emotional, mental, physical or sexual. Whatever your feelings, it is very important for your personal growth that you recognize and deal with these feelings as these emotions can lead not only to stress, but to difficulty in relationships and even illness and disease.
All forms of abuse show a lack of respect for another person’s physical and emotional needs and boundaries. No one should be abused. Unfortunately we tend to parent the way we were parented at home as those were the only role models we experienced. This is not an excuse for any form of abuse but is an explanation why abuse is so common and continues to persist. It is essential to be aware of our behavior and feelings we do not do unto others as was done to us. Unfortunately many abused children become adult abusers.
Whatever your feelings, it is very important for your personal growth that you recognize and process your feelings. While a trip down memory lane may not be a pleasant one, it is worth while so you can bring clarity into your life. Understanding our patterns, beliefs and actions allows us to make new choices. We always have the choice to continue feeling angry, afraid, ashamed and disempowered or we can forgive whoever abused us and empower ourselves. It is only through awareness that we can change our beliefs and clear old baggage. When we remain unconscious or in denial, we inhibit the clearing process and prevent ourselves from moving forward into higher consciousness. This is what we are all being challenged to do at this time.
If you cannot remember, you can program your subconscious mind to help you remember any events or experiences that have shaped your life. You can do this just as you fall asleep at night, just as you awaken or during a meditative state. If you meditate or commune with your guidance, ask any questions you feel might lead you to understand your behavior and emotions. A third choice would be to undergo hypnotherapy and discover what is stored in your subconscious mind. This should be done with someone trained in hypnotherapy who you feel you can trust. Uncovering unpleasant memories and experiences can bring up negative emotions that have been denied or submerged. If you need support in this process, it is wise to seek professional help.
I would be glad to help you to regain your memories and to support through your process of change. Please feel free to contact me any time. I am available for personal, telephone and skype readings, empowerment coaching, regressions, and healing at any time either by clicking on www.sharoncheney.com or calling me at 505 474-6363 or 514 312-2451.
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I pray that your life be filled with peace, love, and abundance.Blessings to you all,