November 2011 Knowledge Newsletter


Dear Friends,

When we face difficulties in life, we often have a tendency to blame others for our misfortunes instead of looking for the cause within ourselves. Some may wish to believe their difficulties are due to bad luck, the poor decisions of others, their karma or some astrological configuration, as long as it is never their fault. We often blame others and expect others to change, not us.


We have all blamed others at some time in our lives. Maybe now would be a good time to pay attention to how often we blame others for things that happen in our lives.


Blaming Others


Here are some common situations that we blame others for:

If you lost your job, did you blame the financial recession we are experiencing, the company’s financial policy or that your boss never liked you? Often I hear people say that they got fired because their boss was an asshole and didn’t like them. While it is true that we don’t always like our co-workers or feel they are treating us fairly, I notice that people never admit it is due to their work habits or something they failed to do. I notice most people never take responsibility for their part in whatever occurred.


Today it is acceptable to say we grew up in a dysfunctional family. That allows us to blame our parents or guardians for our current unhappiness or failure in our lives. After all, it must be someone’s fault our lives are a mess. We blame them in spite of the fact that on a soul level we choose our parents to treat us exactly as they have to provide us with a learning opportunity. Of course we tend to forget this and find it is easier to blame them for our shortcomings.


When we loose something of value, we tend to think someone stole it rather than believe we have been careless.


We blame others when someone makes a decision we don’t like and now have to live with the consequences. We forget we gave them the power to make that decision either by not stepping up to the plate and making the decision for ourselves or by our non verbal consent. Now that we are unhappy with the decision and the consequences, it is their fault.


When you argue with a friend because you thought they acted inappropriately, we blame them not ourselves because they didn’t do as we expected or wanted.

Blame is often a good way to justify our anger or hurt. Someone must be at fault. Instead of looking within, we find a scapegoat. We blame them when they fail to meet our expectations, which we are seldom expressed verbally, or fail to be a mind reader and know what we want. We can choose to feel hurt, be angry or unforgiving.


This is not to say that the actions of others are perfect, far from it. The real truth is that only we can decide to allow someone or something to cause us pain. Only we choose how we will respond to any given situation as only we have the power to do that. We choose our beliefs and are responsible for our actions, no one else. No one can really do anything to us unless we allow it.


While it is true we cannot control the behavior of others, we can make other choices such as choosing to distance ourselves from them, not give their words or actions so much power, or be compassionate that they are so misguided or have so much inner pain that they need to behave as they do.


We often make others wrong in order to make ourselves right so we do not need to look within. The Law of Attraction is always at work. Whatever we see outside of ourselves is only a reflection of what is within. So if you have a bad boss, friends or family members who are uncaring, we need to look within ourselves for those qualities. Is that how we treat others?


Sometimes we continue to be angry and blame others when things go wrong because we can find no forgiveness in our hearts for either ourselves or others. We have difficulty to accept others as they are especially if they do not meet our expectations or do as we wish. If you are frequently angry about not getting what you want, this is an opportunity to look at your expectations of others. People are not in your life to do your bidding but to help you learn and grow. 


Often when couples get together and there is something they don’t like about their partner, they tell themselves I can change that. We must realize that we can only change ourselves, no one else. We do not have the power to change others unless they want to change. Yes, we can threaten them and they may do our bidding but that is not genuine change. That is coercion.


Only when we realize these difficulties provide us with the challenge to either accept them as they are, make changes in our behavior or make new choices for ourselves, will we be making progress. If you want people to treat you differently, you need to change how you behave.


Every time we blame others for whatever has occurred, we put the responsibility on them instead of asking ourselves what role we played in whatever occurred. Every relationship is like a dance. No matter who is leading or who is following, you are both participating and fifty percent responsible. When we blame others, we take no responsibility for our actions. When we do not take responsibility for the part we played, there can be no change within us and our relationships.


Most people do not realize the effects of their thoughts and actions. When we think aggressively, have prejudices or hate others, the manifestation of those thoughts is aggression and war in the world. Whatever we see manifesting outside of ourselves is also within us because we are all connected. As we shift in 5th dimensional consciousness, we will become more aware of that. So the way to create a better world is to change within and be peaceful and loving with yourself and others.


At this time, we all need to look within and make some changes because if we don’t, whatever we refuse to recognize in ourselves will show up in our lives in one form or another. If you need some assistance to help you recognize what needs to be addressed, please feel free to contact me. I am available for personal, telephone and Skype readings, empowerment coaching, regressions, and healing either by responding to this newsletter or calling me at 505 474 6363 or 514 312 2451.

Gift Certificates The holidays are fast approaching. What a good idea it would be to give a gift of a service rather than buying something made in China. Not only would this help our local economy, but giving a gift of a service like getting something repaired or a reading would be greatly appreciated and can make a big difference in a person’s life. The recipient would really appreciate your thoughtfulness and your unique gift idea. Gift certificates are available for my services for the holidays or at any time.


I teach personal and webcam classes if you gather a group of 6 or more people. Choose the class of your choice from the list under Class Descriptions on my website. My online classes, guided meditation CD’s and my books Discover Your Psychic Abilities and Your Soul: The Roadmap to Your Life is always available at

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May your life be filled with love, peace and much abundance. Blessings to all, 

Sharon Cheney

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