June 2012 Knowledge Newsletter
Dear friends, As we move futher into 2012, it is important to love and respect ourselves as well as others. If we want to be respected, we must first respect ourselves. A lack of respect in relationships can only result in unhappiness.
Some people expect respect just because they are older and were brought up to respect elders. Not everyone subscribes to that belief today. In fact, young people today look upon elders as folks who are not hip and who don’t know much about what is happening. They feel whatever wisdom older folks gained throughout their lives to be out of date and not viable in today’s world.
Many young people think they know it all. They turn to friends rather than parents or other adults for solutions because they believe their friends would know best. If you have ever had teenagers or even older children, this may sound familiar. Why young people feel this way I cannot be sure. I can only guess that they are uncomfortable asking for help from parents or admitting they have a problem. Perhaps they believe that they can find all their answers online since they are so proficient at using technology.
When I talk with people of all ages, I find they are still having the same emotional problems as they did before and their issues are being solved through technology. Sure you can find someone to date on the internet but that does not help you have a better relationship with them or to avoid the pitfalls that many relationships experience.
Many people think we should respect those who have a hold over us. This type of person is exemplified in the movie The Godfather. This person commands respect not due to their good deeds but through their use of force or threats. Even if we do not have a have a godfather figure in our lives, we tend to be respectful of those who we see as being more powerful than ourselves. These people feed off our fear. If we were to stand up to them, we would then gain their respect as well as our own, even if they did not like us challenging their position.
Some people respect others who have a lot of money. While we may admire the rich if they used intelligence, hard work and ingenuity to earn money through legal means, but often this kind of person only creates an ideal for us to strive for. In our culture, anyone who has money, regardless of how they attained it, is often treated like royalty even if they are not very nice people. So does the fact they have money really deserve our respect?
To have a good relationship with anyone involves loving and respecting yourself. If you don’t respect yourself, you can pretty well count on the fact that others will not respect you either. No one is going to go out of their way to figure out what your boundaries are and ensure they are enforced especially if your boundaries do not suit them. The job of stating your boundaries and enforcing them is strictly up to you.
When we don’t respect ourselves, we often feel that people don’t really care about us, we feel unheard, misunderstood and unloved. We want others to be sensitive to our needs and wants but how would they know what they are unless we tell them in a clear manner. . It is not the job of your partner, family members or friends to be a mind reader. Not only do we need to tell them, we need to let them know when they have stepped on our boundaries It is your job to tell people how you would like to be treated in a clear and concise manner. If they do not respect your desires then you need to let them know what the consequences will be. If there are no consequences, why would they want to comply with your wishes?
Before you speak with anyone, you need to figure out what your boundaries are because if you are not clear about what they are, you will not be able to communicate them clearly to another person. One would think knowing what you want and telling others would be an easy task but you would be amazed by how many people don’t really know what they want. This is compounded by their inability to ask for what they want and decide on the consequences if others do not comply.
The reason they have difficulty with this because they do not love themselves or feel they deserve to be treated well. They fear that if they ask for what they really want, they will risk losing the love, approval or acceptance they seek. The reality is they do not have the love and approval of these people in the first place. All they have is a dependent relationship where they are afraid to be who they a really are. They also feel disempowered because whenever we do what someone else wants in order to be loved, we have given away our power to that person.
The simple solution is to love and respect yourself and then you are not dependent on anyone. You will also feel a lot better about yourself. Respecting yourself does not mean you cannot be in relationship with others. All it means that you will choose different people to have relationships with and that your relationships will be based on love and respect, instead of dependency and the uncertainty of someone filling your needs.
In most relationship we want our partners and others to make us feel loved. We think it is their job to love us and our job to love them back. We want the other person to provide all the love in the relationship instead of loving ourselves. Loving and respecting ourselves would take an enormous amount of pressure off any relationship if we came into the relationship loving ourselves and not having these unexpressed expectations. If we love and respect ourselves, we would already have an experience of what it feels like to be loved, so it would be easy to recognize when others are not treating us with love and respect. We would not need to wait for conflicts to arise before we would realize there is a problem.
Loving and respecting ourselves is a great way to be no matter the nature of your relationships as it has other benefits as well. Firstly you will feel much better about yourself. Each time you stand up for yourself, you will feel like a million bucks. Other people will respect you and that will feel great about that as well. When you feel good about yourself, it will impact whoever you come into contact with and your love will contribute to the planetary consciousness. So this is win-win situation all around.
So why wait until people take advantage of you, hurt you, or treat you poorly. Start to love and respect yourself today. Learning to love and respect yourself requires becoming aware and letting go of old beliefs you hold about yourself. If I can be of any help, please feel free to contact me. I am available for personal, telephone, and Skype readings, empowerment coaching, regressions, and healing either by responding to this newsletter or calling me at 505 474 6363 or 514 312 2451.
I teach personal and webcam classes if you gather a group of 6 or more people. Choose the class of your choice from the list under Class Descriptions on my website. My online classes, guided meditation CDs and my books Discover Your Psychic Abilities and Your Soul: The Roadmap to Your Life are available at www.sharoncheney.com.
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May your life always be filled with love, peace and abundance. Blessings to you all.