June 2008 Knowledge Newsletter
I hope this newsletter finds you enjoying spring. It is nice to see the flowers blooming and nature’s cycle continuing as it should. During this time of new beginnings, I would like to talk about forgiveness because without forgiveness it is hard to move forward in life.
Many people struggle with the issue of forgiveness. They have difficulty forgiving themselves as well as others. Forgiveness is about accepting responsibility for your actions or the part you played in whatever occurred between you and others or even within yourself. When you are unwilling to forgive, you are still putting the blame on yourself, someone else or some situation that is outside of yourself instead of asking yourself ”What part did I play in creating this situation?” In putting the blame outside yourself, you loose out on the learning inherent in the situation.
To understand the problem of forgiveness we need to look back to before you were born. Prior to birth, we all make a life plan for ourselves with the help of our spirit guides. This plan includes who we will meet and the roles others will play in our lives. Everyone you meet during your lifetime agreed to this plan including yourself. Unfortunately when you incarnate, you usually forget this plan and this is where the guides come in to help you remember through intuitive suggestions and dreams.
So no matter what anyone has done to you, this occurred with mutual agreement for the benefit of your learning. I know this is hard to grasp. You must be thinking “Why in the world would I plan for someone to mistreat me for example?” You are here for your soul’s learning and to heal an aspect of your soul that needs healing. In order to do that you must experience certain situations so you can learn from them.
Remember you invited these situations and persons to interact with you during this lifetime, to play the exact roles they are playing. In reality, you should be thanking them for taking part and assisting you in your learning, instead of blaming them because they did not do as you expected or wanted.
The very fact that you are having a strong emotional reaction to any person or situation should be an indication that the situation can provide a big learning opportunity for you. Generally any situation or relationship that causes strong negative or positive emotions needs to be looked at.
Anger and other negative thoughts and emotions cause a build up of toxins in your body and can lead to disease. Our thoughts create our realities and negative thoughts manifest in the body as stress and disease. So don’t make yourself sick by remaining angry, blaming others or refusing to forgive them or yourself.
Let’s look at some possible reasons why you don’t want to forgive yourself or others. Everyone has expectations of themselves, the world around them and how others are supposed to behave. When these expectations are not met, we become angry Anger is almost always caused by unfulfilled expectations. When you are angry at yourself, this is because you believe you failed at something or your expectations are so high, they cannot be met. The solution is to look at your expectations and see if they need some revision.
If you are angry at others, perhaps you need to ask yourself if they are capable of what you expect of them. Many people have had experiences in childhood or later in life that color the remainder of their lives, scarring them so to speak. You have the power to choose how you will respond to these experiences. Do you believe that all people will always behave that way or will you go with an open mind and find out if this is really true? Don’t allow your past negative experiences to prevent your future happiness.
If you are angry at God because of a loss perhaps that was part of the learning experience that you planned for. If you are angry at life because you expected it to be fair, thought you were supposed to be happy all the time, that people were to supposed to treat you well, be polite or sensitive to your feelings, then maybe you really need to rethink those expectations. I don’t see those things happening most of the time. If you look around or ask people if these beliefs hold true for them, you will probably discover that they don’t. I believe everyone is capable of being nice but whether that is going to happen or not is another matter.
The higher our expectations of ourselves or others, the less likely they will be met. When examining your expectations, you need to check if your beliefs include one that says your expectations are the right ones whether or not anyone else agrees. If this is the case, then you may believe you are morally superior to others to justify your beliefs. No one likes to change their beliefs. Instead we find ways to justify them. It may be a good idea to compare your expectations with the expectations of others just to see how you are doing in that department.
Another reason for a lack of forgiveness may be impatience. Sometimes we want people or situations to move a little faster than they do. We conclude people are stupid, lazy, or against us just because they are not fulfilling the roles we expect of them. This calls for accepting people just the way they are. We are NOT all created equal. Some like to move at a slow pace while others can’t get ahead fast enough.
When you forgive others and yourself, you take responsibility for your part in creating the problem. This brings greater understanding of the Self. It frees up your energy so it can be put to better use. It allows you to move forward in your life and not spend time and energy thinking about how angry you are or what some other person did or failed to do for you. Your health will also improve when you do not focus on negative thoughts and emotions.
Being unforgiving is like maintaining a big chain that links you to whoever you refuse to forgive. Keeping this chain in place takes a lot of energy which I believe could be better spent doing things you enjoy. So when you forgive, you break the chain and this allows both you and the other person to move forward and be FREE. This freedom feels wonderful and empowering.
When you feel empowered, you will understand that you do not need others or yourself to fulfill your expectations for your life to be okay. You learn to accept yourself as you are no matter the situation. The behavior of others will not affect your life unless you give it the power to do so. So forgiveness is very empowering. It helps you to see life from a totally new perspective.
If you have questions about dealing with forgiveness issues or other concerns, please feel free to contact me. I am available for personal and telephone readings, empowerment coaching, hypnotherapy, and healing either by responding to this newsletter or calling me at 505 474 6363 or 514 312- 2451. Online classes, books, and meditation CD's are available by visiting to www.sharoncheney.com.
My latest book, Your Soul: the Roadmap to Your Life is now available. My other book Discover Your Psychic Abilities is available in printed or e-book form.
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May your future be filled with Love and Light.