Sharoncheney.com - October 2017

October 2017 Knowledge Newsletter

Dear Friends,

One of the best things we can do to help ourselves, our friends, family and the planet is to love ourselves completely. Unfortunately, this is easier said than done as we are all creatures of habit and find it easier to avoid change unless we are forced to.

Self-Love

From my own experience, I have discovered that loving and accepting myself unconditionally is the most difficult thing I have ever had to master. Although difficult to do, it has been well worth the effort. It has not only changed how I feel about myself, how I relate to others and how others relate to me, it has brought loving supportive people into my life, empowered me to say how I feel and get what I want and to find lasting inner peace and happiness that is not reliant on others.

The obstacles to loving ourselves are many as lots of people are critical and unaccepting of themselves, don’t feel they deserve to be loved because of past negative experiences or fail to get the support they need to make changes in their life. They constantly find fault with their behavior, how they look, what they say and do or failed to say and do. They tend to blame others for what is lacking in their lives when in truth is the only person they can change is themselves.

Some people try but give up after a few attempts when they fail to see results immediately. If you are going to make changes you need to be committed for the long haul as change takes time. If there is resistance from those close to you, they obviously don’t want to change and will sabotage everything you do. The way around this is to set your boundaries, tell them what the consequences will be if they fail to comply and be sure you are ready to police your boundaries or else no one will ever take you seriously. An alternate solution is to find new people in your life that agree with you so you don’t have to work so hard to get the love you want.

When I ask people if they love themselves, they often say yes but when I look at their relationship difficulties, I see this is not the case at all. Anyone who is dependent on others for love, money, attention, acceptance or approval does not love them self completely. If they did, they would not be dependent on others for those things. This does not mean you can’t be in relationships, but how you interact with people changes. When you love yourself, if you are okay no matter what anyone else thinks.

If you are dependent on others for love and approval at work or home, need others to find you attractive to feel good about yourself, have difficulty managing your money, living your life or anything else, this is a sign of a lack of self-love. It might be a good idea to look at your life to see the areas where you are most dependent on others as this will indicate where change is needed.

Even though we want everyone to love us, when we think about it we need to ask ourselves “Do we love everyone we meet?” Probably not, so is it realistic to expect everyone to love us? In order for you to feel good about yourself, you need to love yourself first as that will attract others that love you as the Law of Attraction is always at work.

Here is the self-love questionnaire from my new Love is the Answer Book: How to Love Yourself, Improve your Relationships and Find Inner Peace that is available on my website. By answering these questions you can see how well you are doing at self-love.

Please put a 1 only beside the questions to which you answered NO

Do you settle for less than unfulfilling relationships?	___
Do you regularly fail to reach your full potential because you fear failure or rejection?	___
Do you put the needs of other people in front of your own to because you believe that they need you or are afraid you won’t be needed?	___
Do you put yourself down first rather than have others reject you because you feel unworthy?	___
Do you regularly ask others what to do because you do not trust in your own ability to know what is best for you?	___
Do you believe that others know better what is best for you either because they are professionals or because you believe they are smarter, richer or more powerful than you?	___
7) Are you afraid to be vulnerable and show your true emotions?	___
8) Do you blame others for what happens in your life or see yourself as a victim?	___
9) Do you participate in toxic or co-dependent relationships?	___
10) Do you fail to set boundaries in your relationships with others?	___
11) Do you say “yes” when you want to say “no”?	___
12) Is your theme song “Looking for love in all the wrong places”?	___
13) Are you concerned with what others think or say about you?	___
14) Do your fears outweigh your confidence?	___
15) Have you ever felt that things were not going well in your life because of outside influences?	___
16) Do you perceive yourself as helpless or hopeless in the face of adversity?	___
17) Do you feel manipulated by others?	___
18) Does your guilt make your decisions for you?	___
19) Do you have difficulty receiving love, help, gifts or anything else from others?	___
20) Are you afraid of new situations, relationships, exposing yourself to others or being successful?	___
21) Do you think negatively and/or worry about the “what ifs “of life?	___
22) Is there some aspect, behavior, physical trait or character flaw you would like to change in yourself?	___
23) Do you beat yourself up or tell yourself you are an idiot for making a mistake?	___
24) Do you let people step on your boundaries or fail to get the respect you deserve?	___
25)Do you go along with what others want without objecting when you are not in agreement?	___
26) Do you believe there is something wrong or lacking in you because you do not have a partner in your life?	___

Please put a 1 only beside the questions to which you answered YES
27) Are you happy with yourself just the way you are?	___
28) Do you pay attention and honor what your body needs at all times?	___
29) Do you often treat yourself to something special such as a massage, a facial, time alone, or whatever your heart desires?	___
30) Do you listen to and trust your intuition?	___
31) Do you believe you have the power to manifest what you want in life?	___
32) Are you in touch with your true feelings and who you really are?	___
33) Do you respect yourself completely?	___
34) Do you always speak your truth even when you know others may not agree with you?	___
35) Do you take care of your body’s needs such as eating well, exercising and getting enough rest?	___
36) Do you abstain from excessive alcohol and taking non-prescription drugs?	___
37) Are you able to talk to your partner about fulfilling your sexual and emotional needs?	___
38) Do you know what makes you happy and what you want in life?	___
39) Do you know your life purpose and if so, are you fulfilling it?	___
40) Do you take full responsibility for your actions including any consequences?	___
41) Do you feel comfortable and confident handling your financial affairs?	___
42) Do you feel empowered when speaking with others or making decisions?	___
43) Are you aware that you are the creator of your life circumstances?	___
44) Are you satisfied with your life and your relationships?	___
45) Do you want something more from life than what you have right now?	___

Now add up the numbers to see your self-love score. The maximum is 45. The number you have is an indication of your amount of self-love. Pay attention to the questions in which you were unable to score a point; those will be the areas where work is needed. I suggest you retake this questionnaire every three to six months to see how much your self–love has increased.

If you have difficulty to love yourself or improve your relationships, please feel free to contact me. I am available for personal, telephone or readings over Skype, relationship coaching, regressions, and healing at any time by clicking on www.sharoncheney.com or calling me at 505 474-6363 or 514 312-2451.

If you would like to share this newsletter with friends, click on this link http://www.sharoncheney.com/knowledge-newsletter-archives/october-2017-self-love.

Gift Certificates for soul readings, mediumship and relationship help are available for birthdays, holidays or other special occasions. Often a reading, coaching session, regression, healing, a class or book can change a person's life, so if you know of anyone who could use some insight or guidance, this is both a practical and unique gift idea.

Home Parties and Classes of your choice are available personally or through Skype providing you can gather a group of 6 or more. The classes I offer are listed under Class Descriptions on my website.

Online classes, guided meditation CD's and my books Discover Your Psychic Abilities and Your Soul: The Roadmap to Your Life are available anytime on my website www.sharoncheney.com. My latest book Love is the Answer: How to love Yourself, Improve your Relationships and find Inner Peace is now available.

For new subscribers, previous Knowledge Newsletters are now available on my website under Newsletter Archives. If you know anyone who would like to receive this newsletter, please email me their name, email address and where they live and I will be happy to add them to my mailing list.

May your life be filled with peace, love and abundance and showered with blessing throughout the year.

Sharon Cheney