April 2008 Knowledge Newsletter
Spring has traditionally been a time of new beginnings so perhaps it is time to plant the seeds and start taking steps to create the life you really want.
Just the other day, a friend was saying that she felt the time had come to make changes in her life but she was unable to move forward. She felt as if she was stuck. She attributed this to her fear of the unknown. What would happen if she really left her job and moved elsewhere? What assurance would she have that her life would be okay? The impetus was there but so was the inertia. Underlying that inertia was fear. She naturally wanted a guarantee that if she did leave her job or move somewhere new, she would be okay financially, socially, etc.
In our journey to realizing our dreams, one of the first things we need to do is address our fears. Fear acts like a blindfold preventing us form seeing the real truth about ourselves, others and the future. Fear helps us stay exactly where we are, doing the same things we have always done and at the same time, hoping that the outcome will be different. Every time we think about taking a chance or doing something different, our fears pops up and prevents us from taking action.
So what can we do about this most annoying but common problem? Firstly, we need to understand how the universal law of Like Attracts Like, mentioned in the popular book and the movie “The Secret” really works. The universe reflects back to us an exact replica of our thoughts, just like a mirror. So if our thoughts are negative and full of fear that is what is reflected in our lives.
So the first thing we need to do is be conscious of our thoughts to make sure they are positive all the time. To become aware of your thoughts, jot down or record your thoughts for one week. Notice how often you have repetitive thoughts and whether these thoughts are positive or not.
Once you have done this for a week, you may see some patterns emerge. Now to eliminate these negative thoughts, you need to make a positive affirmation beside each one of these negative thoughts. An affirmation must be in the present tense because that is where all change occurs. For example, if you have a general fear of the unknown or the future, you can say “I trust every thing will be okay”. If you have concerns about your health, you can say “I am in perfect health now and forever”.
You may think this is silly or it won’t work. But I invite you to try saying these positive statements and pay attention to how you feel in your body when you do. You will feel more relaxed. Our bodies respond to our thoughts. This is not hearsay but has been proved through medical research. Now the secret to success is to repeat these positive affirmations 100 times a day either out loud or in your mind. You can repeat these statements 10 times every hour or whatever works best for you. You must do this for a minimum of at least one month. After a month notice if you feel any differently about your fears.
It is important to do at least 100 repetitions per day as you are programming your body to align with your new positive beliefs. Considering how long you have held these negative beliefs, being able to make changes in only one month is close to miraculous.
The interesting thing about fearful thinking or any negative self-defeating beliefs is that they usually start early in childhood. Perhaps your parents said you were not good enough, not smart enough, would never mount to anything, or told you that people were not to be trusted. As you grew to adulthood, this recording remained in your head. Research has shown that intelligence or worldly accomplishment does not remove these fears and beliefs from our minds, although logic would dictate that they would. We continue to hear our parent’s voices and/or criticisms in our heads until we consciously choose to change them. As adults, we have the choice to follow the beliefs and conditioning received in childhood or not. We live in a world of free choice but we don’t always exercise that option.
Perhaps we do not do this because as children we were dependent on our parents for our physical needs but also for their love and acceptance. As children, we were too young to question their values or the truth of statements, and going against them would only serve to cut us off from the love and acceptance we so desired.
In addition, in childhood we establish what is called self-fulfilling prophesy. Self-fulfilling prophesy develops from our beliefs about ourselves, the world, and our family values. From this combination, we develop a mottos operandi or M.O., an approach to life which usually does not change unless we make a conscious choice to change it.
Anytime a situation arises that challenges our self-fulfilling prophesy, we find a way to confirm to ourselves that our belief system is right and the outer world is wrong. For example, let’s say you believe you that people don’t like you. Now you meet a new person who is interested in being your friend. Since you have this belief that people don’t like you, you will look for underlying motives to justify why this person may want to be your friend. You may conclude they want something from you, they just want to use you, they are just pretending to be nice until they get to know you better or get what they want, and so on.
The problem here is that you are not open to believing that anyone can like you just the way you are. You do this because you need to stay in control and maintain your belief system and in the process, you loose out on a possible friendship, which you would really like to have. You decide for this person that you are not likeable, instead of believing in the old saying that “Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder, not the beholden”. Instead of letting them decide, you sabotage by pushing them away in order to maintain your self-fulfilling prophesy.
Another sure way to recognize fearful thinking is if you frequently say “What if”. Whenever we say “What if this or that happens”, we always think of something negative that may occur. We never think what if something great happens. That is why I say fear holds us back whereas positive thinking helps us to move forward.
Underlying all fear is a lack of trust in ourselves that we can manifest what we want in life. Of course, it helps if we are clear about what we really want. Surprisingly, many people know what they don’t want but are not always clear about what really do want. We tend to sabotage realizing our goals by believing they are not possible either due to a lack of funds, knowledge, time, other obligations, etc.
Remember the universe works with us whatever our goals may be. It doesn’t say “Sorry you used up your quota of requests or you are not deserving enough”, it only responds to our thoughts. So all you need to do is think positively and be open to all possibilities because the universe may present you with some situation or relationship you hadn’t thought possible but may turn out to be just perfect.
Sometimes life presents us with situations, which on first glance, we think “I don’t want that” or we ask ourselves “Why these situations always show up in my life?” The universe has a broader picture of life than we do since it hears everyone’s thoughts and we never know when it can put us in touch with just the right person or situation that will manifest our desires, so be open to receiving and stay positive.
I hope these suggestions on how to overcome your fears have been useful and that you will apply them in your life. I have personally tried out these techniques and found them to be very helpful. Jotting down my thoughts certainly made me conscious of my thinking patterns. If you recognize that you are fearful and feel you need some assistance in overcoming your fears, I would be glad to help you.
I am available for personal and telephone readings, empowerment coaching, hypnotherapy, past life regressions, and healing either by responding to this newsletter or calling me at 505 474-6363 or 514 312-2451. Online classes, books, and meditation CD's are available by visiting to www.sharoncheney.com.
My second book, Your Soul: The Roadmap to Your Life is now available in e-book form. The cost is $20.00. To purchase the book, just email me.
Unsubscribing to the Newsletter
If you do not wish to receive the Knowledge Newsletter, you can unsubscribe by going to www.sharoncheney.com, clicking on Free Newsletter, and then choose Unsubscribe and follow the prompts.
May your future be filled with love and light,