September 2010 Knowledge Newsletter
I hope you had a wonderful summer. You have probably been feeling the shift in energy that is bringing up challenges for many people. These challenges will most likely occur in areas where there have been unresolved issues in the past. These challenges are a necessary part of moving into a higher dimensional consciousness. The best advice I can offer is to deal with whatever is showing up in your life right now rather than ignoring it so you will be free to move forward unburdened by these issues.
Speaking the Truth
One of the challenges we face is having the courage to speak our truth and be totally honest with ourselves and others. This is often more difficult than it sounds. Most of us were taught to be honest growing up. In spite of this, many people face situations where it is difficult to be completely honest because we fear the consequences that complete honesty may bring.
There are advantages and disadvantages to being honest. Firstly, we will look at why we lie and then the advantages and disadvantages of being honest or dishonest. For this newsletter, I will use the term partner to refer to any relationship regardless of it nature.
Why We Lie
Some people don’t want things to change but fear that they would if others knew the truth.
Some people believe they are smart and can get away with lying based on the fact that they have gotten away with it before.
Some folks justify that they lie because they don’t want to hurt others when in fact they land up hurting them anyhow.
Some want others to think well of them so they don’t risk telling them the truth.
Some believe it is okay to tell people what they want to hear rather than the truth. That leaving out pertinent information is not really lying but rather a sin of omission. The problem with this type of reasoning is that they are not being respectful of the other person’s right to make a decision based on all the facts.
Some people believe they are God’s gift to the world and are exempt from the rules that apply to others.
Some folks just cannot resist the temptation when it arises.
Some people just have low or no moral standards and are unwillingly to be respectful or honor others with the truth.
Some people justify lying in their own minds if it serves the end result.
Many people lack the courage to be honest because they don’t want others to know who they really are because they fear disapproval or rejection.
If you are in relationship and you cheat on your partner or do something you would rather not admit, you may get away with it once but if it is a repetitive behavior, your partner will most likely begin to suspect that you are not telling the truth and begin to doubt you.
If you fail to tell the truth, others may come up with their own conclusions that are worse that what you failed to tell them.
If you cheat and lie about it, this can cause mistrust that can lead to decreased intimacy, arguments and possible separation.
It is bad enough when we lie to others but lying to ourselves is really self defeating. Lying takes energy to keep track of the lies we tell.
Advantages of Dishonesty
Some people will feel like they got away with something at least in the short term.
Some justify lies believing that they avoid hurting or disappointing others.
If you present yourself differently from whom you really are, you may convince some people but eventually the facade will fall away and you will be left with the consequences.
You can hide behind a positive image of what you believe people want you to be but over time it takes a lot of energy to maintain that image.
Consequences of Dishonesty
Any failure to be completely honest will likely result in making others feel like you don’t trust them to handle the truth or that they are untrustworthy, even though that may not be how you perceive them.
Dishonesty creates rifts in the relationship that are very difficult to heal even with time. Mistrust is like a broken plate that has been glued back together. The plate is now in one piece but you can still see the crack. The crack is like the feeling of mistrust that never goes away.
Mistrust is very difficult to repair. For example, if you cheat on your partner and then decide to tell them the truth, you may think that because you came clean that is the end of the problem but that is seldom the case. You may feel relieved about being honest but imagine how that makes the other person feel. While they may be glad you told them the truth, you will both need to deal with the consequences.
People will have less confidence in you and will be less likely to believe you in the future. Many people subscribe to the belief that if you lied to them once, you will do it again.
If you cheat on a partner, it may make them feel they are undesirable or that there is something lacking in them. People often cheat not because there is something wrong with their partner, but because something is lacking in them. They may still love their partner and want to remain in the relationship, but they want their cake and to eat it as well. When a person feels insecure or believes they no longer have what it takes to be attractive, they will often seek confirmation of their attractiveness outside a relationship.
When a person is unsatisfied in their sexual relationship with their partner, they often look outside the relationship instead of trying to fix the problem with their partner. It is true that when the honeymoon phase of a relationship comes to an end, couples often fall into routines that can become boring. But there are many ways to overcome this situation by going on a date nights, playing out fantasies, exploring erogenous zones, watching stimulating videos, etc.
Lying or presenting one’s self in a dishonest way can only lead to exposure at some future time. No one can play act all the time. The old adage “You can fool all the people some of the time, some of the people all the time, but not all the people all of the time” holds true.
Advantages of Being Honest
Honesty allows you to be in integrity with yourself which leads to self empowerment. Even if people do not like what you have to say or don’t agree with you, at least you will feel good about speaking your truth. After all, only you know what your truth is since only you live in your body.
Speaking your truth is letting the world know who you really are and what you believe in. While this may take courage, it also generates respect for your self and from others.
When we fail to tell people how we feel and think, they often make assumptions that may be incorrect. Remember when you say nothing; people automatically assume you agree with them. Typically people tend to stereotype others and fail to see them for who they really are so sharing your point of view helps to avoid this situation.
When people do or say hurtful things, informing them how their behavior impacts you will change your relationship because they may not be aware how you feel. This forces them to take responsibility for their actions.
Telling the truth is liberating even if it may be scary at times as we never know how people may respond.
Speaking the truth opens the door for new levels of understanding and communication. Telling the truth provides opportunities for our communications to move from superficial to more meaningful and fulfilling levels. When we share our thoughts and feelings, it invites others to respond in a similar manner. It also conveys that you trust it is safe to share your thoughts and feelings with them without fear of rejection.
Speaking our truth provides opportunities to clarify situations instead of relying on assumptions and opens the door for further discussion.
Being clear and honest about what you want from others provides opportunities to manifest what you want and improve your relationships. Letting people know how you feel and how you would like them to treat you will not only make them aware of their actions but will force them to treat you with more respect.
Stating your boundaries is another way of speaking your truth. It is your job to tell others what you want and not expect them to know. Of course, it is wise to be clear about what you want before you speak. Stating your boundaries is a way to respect and honor yourself because often others will not respect you until you respect yourself.
Having the courage to speak your truth will cause more people to listen to you so you will not feel unheard.
When we have the courage to speak our truth from our hearts instead of our heads, we come across as more sincere. We all intuitively know when someone is telling the truth because it just feels right.
If you need any help with knowing when to speak your truth and how you should go about it or with any other issues, please feel free to contact me. I am available for personal, telephone readings, empowerment coaching, regressions, and healing either by responding to this newsletter or calling me at 505 474-6363 or 514 312-2451.
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May your life be filled with love, peace and abundance. Blessings to all,