August 2015 Knowledge Newsletter
Dear Friends, Deciding whether to share our feelings with someone is sometimes a difficult decision because we want to be assured they will listen to us and be supportive of what we have to say.
Sharing Our Feelings
Often we are faced with a decision to express our feelings or hold back. Some considerations that may come into play in making this decision is whether we feel others are really interested in how we feel; if we feel safe sharing or fear some negative repercussion like rejection or disapproval; or have concerns that others won’t keep what we share in confidence. Some people need to be asked how they feel, require special circumstances or need to trust a person completely before they feel safe enough to share. Naturally a prerequisite to sharing is that we be in touch with our feelings, which many people are not.
Sharing feelings may be conditioned by how we were brought up. In some families children are asked and encouraged to share their feelings while in others, no one asks or cares. I grew up in such a family leaving me to conclude that no one cared how I felt. Families that do not share feelings usually contain people who are out of touch with their feelings or are afraid to speak up. Reluctance to share may be caused by fear of punishment by authority figures that don’t want their rules contested or questioned.
Many people fail to express their feelings because they want to fit in and be accepted by a society that promotes logic over emotions. Some people don’t say how they because they think it’s not polite and want to do what is expected. For example, asking others how they are when they don’t really care. Sometimes our inability to share is based the beliefs we hold about ourselves such as we don’t have anything interesting to say or no one would value what we have to share.
The price we pay for failing to share our feelings is a lack of integrity with ourselves. It also makes it much more difficult for others to relate to us on more than a superficial level. We land up having acquaintances rather than close friends and leaving others to guess how we are feeling.
While it takes courage to speak up without assurance that people will be supportive, it also is liberating to be able to say how we feel. When we share our feelings it is like extending an invitation to others to share theirs as well. It is our responsibility to say how we feel as we are the only people who really know. Other people can say “I know how you feel” but that is always based on their personal experiences, not yours. Even if two people have a similar experience like a divorce, their feelings on the subject can be very different based on whether their divorce was amicable or warlike.
Keeping our feelings suppressed requires energy which can lead to illness or disease. Speaking up frees this energy to pursue other past times we enjoy. We store our feelings in our body so if you are experiencing stress, pain or discomfort in some area of your body, perhaps it is wise to take a moment, focus your attention there and ask what emotions you are holding in that part of your body.
Our body is our alarm system. If you have an alarm system in your home, you would want to be sure it was working properly rather than waiting until you have a break in. So checking your body regularly for where you are holding stress is a good idea rather than filling your life with routine so that you never have time to look.
Feelings fuel our decisions whether we are aware of this or not. Failing to know how we feel leaves us living our lives unconsciously, letting logic rule or doing what other people tell us to do. Our actions are based on emotions like fear, anger, shame or love. Many believe our beliefs determine our decisions and to a certain extent this is true. Beliefs are colored by our emotions. For example, you decide to paint a room because it needs painting.
This is a logical choice but the choice to paint it a certain color is an emotional one because colors impact how we feel. Another example is a woman buys a blue dress because she says she looks good in blue. What she fails to mention is that she did not buy a red dress because she would stand out and feel uncomfortable.
If you have difficulty to say how you feel or are out of touch with your feelings and need support to have the courage to look within, please feel free to contact me. I am available for personal, telephone or readings over skype, relationship coaching, regressions, and healing at any time either by clicking on www.sharoncheney.com or calling me at 505 474-6363 or 514 312 - 2451.
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May your life be filled with peace, love and abundance. Blessings to you all.